I’ve never actually written anything, I don’t think. I really don’t remember why I got this account, probably to read something, not sure. I’m going to start saying some things because I am so disappointed with the American people. Sorry but it’s true.
I have always just wanted things to make sense. My environment, as a child, was crazy. So, I learned to try to find the logic. l didn’t even require that it make sense to me, as long as it made sense to the person doing it, that was enough. My dad was a Southern Baptist Preacher and my mother was crazy. I popped out thinking, paying attention and non-prejudiced. I continue that way much to my own demise.
My poor dad, I held him to his rules because, his choices, made my life full of rules that I was expected follow. We were a lot alike, in that people looked up to us and we felt responsible for that. We both have strong faith but we didn’t necessarily agree on how that should work. He died when I was 21. I had no idea how young I was or how much it would affect my life and how much I would miss him. I think my life would have been much different had he still been here.
My mother and I were opposites. I can’t really determine how much of that was just nature and how much of it was me not wanting to be like her. That sounds terrible, I know but I loved my mother, I just didn’t want to be like her. I think she felt the same way. That relationship takes a long time to explain. I’ll save it for later.
One other thing that could make some of my ramblings make sense… I’ve never related myself by gender, color or anything else. I’m a human, just like all the rest. I might have different abilities or disabilities, that’s great, I don’t have a problem with that. I don’t think we are supposed to be good at everything. I think we were at our best when we lived in tribes and could share responsibilities. If you aren’t the best parent or writer or builder, that’s cool, there are enough of us to make up for that if we all do what we’re good at. I think greed is the problem most of the time and greedy people first destroyed the tribe, then the family and now, the individual.
Since I’ve never written anything, I thought I should, at least, give that much back ground. Someone might actually read this and that would be helpful, I’m sure. Otherwise, I’m just writing to get it out of my physical body so I can get well again.
Today, I’m upset with my country. I don’t understand how we were living in a pretty decent place one day and the next, we’re back to the sixties.
When I turned 10, my parents gave me a birthday party and one of my friends that I invited was black. My dad, the ex-preacher, was appalled. I wasn’t having it. As far as I was concerned, that was bullshit. I didn’t care if he was purple, he was my friend and he was welcome at my party. (This is why I said poor dad.) As far as I was concerned, the bible said we shouldn’t judge each other and, therefore, my dad had no platform to stand on. He grew up in Texas when that sort of thing was just everyday, how it was. I don’t think he ever stopped to really think about it before I came along and forced him to.
I can’t believe that after 8 years of our first half black president, he’s turned this country back to the prejudice running rampant in the 60’s and before. I can’t remember the last time I thought about what color someone was, it never mattered to me. Now, thanx to the democratic party, that’s all that people talk about. Instead of him building a better platform for cops actions and understanding, he praised the racists shouting dead cops, what we want. How does that help? That’s racist. So now, black people that didn’t suffer what their ancestors suffered from our ancestors, want us to pay them back by letting them become racist against us. I think that’s called the he said, she said, bullshit.
I don’t think black should love Robert E. Lee but I do think they should remember him. They’re being led to destroy all of those reminders, why? So, there descendants can suffer again because history was forgotten instead of learned from.
When the oppressed become the oppressor, who’s worse?
That’s why you shouldn’t hate. Anyone worth hating, doesn’t give a rat’s ass what anyone thinks. So, when you hate them, it just keeps them in your life, ruining it. You’re the only one experiencing that negative emotion, it doesn’t affect them. And, it certainly, doesn’t change them but it changes you. Eventually, it cuts good people out of your life because they don’t deserve it. So, what is accomplished by hate? More hate. Someone has to be the first to do the right thing, let it be you. That’s what they hate the most, your survival without them